Shattered Planes Archives (Seasons 4 & 5)

The Board => Archive => Void => Topic started by: Zero on January 10, 2010, 08:24:48 PM

Title: Class
Post by: Zero on January 10, 2010, 08:24:48 PM
Slowly Gallaghar walked through his palace on Nosvasia which he thought had been carefully constructed by the Negion Duo of Avidan and Laura. He knew they liked each other even if they refused to admit it. However he wasn't past forcing them to work together since after all he needed them to work together to have their Negion at full power. Avidan was the good and Laura was the evil. He then walked to the podium of the palace prepared to give his speech of the day that would put him fully in charge of this world. He then said to the people once he arrived at the balcony of the palace "Once you were ruled by tyrants and locked up in prison and now you are ruled by me. Would you have me die before my time and let some other group come in and take over this world which I took for you with my  skill and that of Laura and Avidan?"

Avidan "I am not much for speeches. "  He then said to the people "You must obey Gallaghar for you are bonded to him so that you are protected from those who would lay harm to your minds and desolate your bodies. "
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on January 10, 2010, 08:26:54 PM
I can't do anything with that sample, Hawkeye. There's no actual interaction between characters.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on January 10, 2010, 08:36:46 PM
There. I have made it have interaction.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on January 10, 2010, 08:43:23 PM
Well, it works for diplomacy...

I can tell you right now, from that speech, very, very few people are going to like you. You're basically admitting you took their planet by force, which is little more then a slap in the face.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on January 10, 2010, 08:47:41 PM
FYI : The Planet was uninhabited except for Sentient Trees. 
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on January 10, 2010, 08:56:34 PM
That doesn't matter.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on January 10, 2010, 09:19:45 PM
As Gallaghar walked to the podium he began to think of a speech to give to the people. He needed one that would stir the people into fervors of loyalty and also make them never want to join the Anrufe. Yet how could he give it knowing his shield would fail at any time and the Anrufe could come in and wipe them all out. He worried about the people.  He then figured out what to say and said "People of Novasia and subjects of the legacy empire,  I worry about your wellbeing as long as the scourge of the Anrufe is allowed to plague the universe. "
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on January 10, 2010, 09:34:25 PM
Hm, not much at all to work with... By interaction, we mean interaction between two characters, two groups/empires, a character and a group, etc. Conversations, actions towards other characters, that is interaction. The reason I told you that you needed to learn basic interaction skills is because you do not seem able to create even somewhat realistic character interaction. Hell, you don't even knock before landing on a planet and asking for land.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on January 10, 2010, 09:36:50 PM
Avidan and Laura hovered above the Planet Reloria and sent down a magical transmission to the Relorians asking for permission to meet their leaders. Gallaghar had said that Avidan and Laura needed to learn more about magic and so they decided that the Relorians would be a good place to start learning how to utilize magic.  "Is anyone there?"  asked Avidan
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on January 10, 2010, 09:52:57 PM
You seem to misunderstand. This is a place of improvement, not of rping. You need to make your character interactions more realistic. People speak with more than just their words, Hawkeye. Body language is a very important part of sentient interaction.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on January 10, 2010, 09:54:37 PM

Avidan and Laura hovered above the Planet Reloria and sent down a magical transmission to the Relorians asking for permission to meet their leaders. As they descended Laura was fidgeting. She was always nervous about meetings with other empires. Avidan appeared to be confident.  Gallaghar had said that Avidan and Laura needed to learn more about magic and so they decided that the Relorians would be a good place to start learning how to utilize magic.  "Is anyone there?"  asked Avidan
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on January 10, 2010, 10:12:32 PM
Better, now you need to work on personality. Every character has its own unique personality, and that is reflected in interactions between characters. These personalities can clash and cause conflict, or they can mix well and become friends. Just like real life people, characters have their own personalities, which affects how they interact.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on January 11, 2010, 03:24:01 PM
Avidan felt calm and peace as he descended to Reloria where as Laura was afraid and upset. She was afraid of the Relorians but Avidan wasn't as he had learned to control his abilities to the point of making him a master of Negion. Laura was still weak compared to him in Negion use.  His personality was that of someone who was usually calm. However Laura's personality was that of someone always angry all the time. He didn't want to fight her but if he had to, he would.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on January 11, 2010, 08:16:36 PM
Have you read a book where the author puts the character's personality through like that? Neither have I, because even a child's storybook doesn't. Think about how actual authors get personalities across. They use the character's body language, the way they word their sentences, how they react to things, and other methods to show a character's personality. I want you to try doing this.

To accomplish this, you will analyze the Transmittal of Peace and Loreian Character request topics. You will tell me how each personality trait of Areis' that is listed in the request is represented in the Transmittal topic.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on January 15, 2010, 08:22:04 PM
Aeris
Aeris is a person who dreams a lot and is also a militaristic person. His personality is carefree and a procrastinator making him put off battle plans until the last minute. However this usually turns to his advantage. He also seems to have a strict personality in addition. Sometimes though he is merciful. He is also sarcastic.

1. He is in the Topic of Transmittal seeming very sarcastic and also militaristic around Gallaghar and is very classified.
2. Another observation is that he is unlikely to trust anyone without more than a blood contract at his disposal.
3. He seems to be impatient. 
4.  Another thing in Transmittal of Peace is that he seems to want Gallaghar to leave his world for some odd reason.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on January 15, 2010, 09:16:14 PM
Some of it you got right by thinking negatively, other parts are outright incorrect.

His entire race is one that has a high interest in the Arts. Art, Music, Drama, etc. They are a race of artists who have had to branch their skills out into battle. And of course he's going to be at least partly militaristic, he's the leader of an empire and is surrounded by war.

Saying that someone puts off planning battles until the last minute is an interesting way to look at it, but you could also say that he excels in making things up as he goes, improvising using what he has in front of him, rather than spending time beforehand planning in advance, which opens up possible strategic disasters if even one enemy finds even the smallest part of the plan out.

I have no idea where you got the strict bit from, considering he was a pirate for a few years.

And Gallaghar came in, has no prior history with the Loreians, has no knowledge at all about them, and you expect him to be able to convince ANYONE to let you use part of their planet? NOT only that, but Avidan, a confirmed comrade of Gallaghar, bursting in and exhibiting hostile behavior? You're lucky they didn't shoot on sight, as would be perfectly reasonable of ANY empire to do!

And if he wanted Gallaghar to leave, why would he have told Gallaghar to stay?
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on January 17, 2010, 06:59:18 PM
He told Gallaghar at that time to stay but later on he wished for Gallaghar to leave after Gallaghar fruitlessly attempted to explain what Avidan had been up to. It is true he failed with the Lorei and will not come back there for a very long time.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on January 17, 2010, 07:05:36 PM
Well of course Areis would want Gallaghar to leave, Gallaghar was treating Areis like an idiot.

So, back on topic, I am going to give you a character to use in this thread. We will then rp for five posts each, and I will have you go through the posts and tell me exactly how you can improve your character interaction skills. It will not be an easy character to RP, and I will not be easy grading you.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on January 18, 2010, 10:02:40 AM
Alright.

Name: Arcane Shadow
Age:   He is about 25 years old.
Race:   Sage
Alliance:   None but he follows the Noble code of the Samurai.
Biography: He was born on a cave on Magimeta 18 years ago today and is a very tough person these days. His parents abandoned him but a Samurai who lived in the cave taught him the way of the Samurai and took care of him until he was 18. Now Arcane is the last of the Samurais in existence and has learned he has not only the powers of a Samurai but also the powers of Negion, Retribution, Order’s Sage level  unique spells and those of Gallaghar as well at his disposal. The Samurai died shortly thereafter and Arcane became the new Samurai in place of his former mentor. He is more of a ask questions first then go in for the kill type of person.

Arcane then began his travels and noticed that Ancient monsters were indeed being released from the prison and realized he had been trained to fight said monsters and win by the Samurai. He found out there was a YinYang symbol on his right hand marking that he had Negion and  an inverted YinYang symbol on his left hand marking that he had Retribution Magic at his disposal as well.

He decided he would be better than the Samurai and not die so easily. By studying mystic texts he learned to command his Negion and Retribution and Sage abilities in order to become better than the Samurai. Now at age 25, he is ready. He seeks retribution on those who killed mages and sages and using his Samurai talents he is going after the Anrufe first since they made the war start and they are to blame for the bloodshed of the Aralangs and of ordinary mages or sages.

He has also learned the special abilities of both Negion and Retribution users and by combining that, his skill at over 17 martial arts and his training with a sword so far he has become an unstoppable warrior.

In addition to learning martial arts and the specializing in magic types he can also hack a computer with some ease since he took the time to learn how to perform that technique all on his own.

Weapons: Ferocity : (See Appearance for Picture)  This sword is endowed with a property that allows it to counter magic meaning that most spells will not harm this blade in any way, shape or form.

He in addition has found a staff capable of utilizing Mana which is a form of magic that has been lost to time. He figured out how to control the power of the staff and how to focus his own power through it. Currently he can only wrap his opponets up in constructs of energy and hurl them, fire energy orbs or form barriers with the staff. 



Equipment: None
Magic Level: 5
Auros Level:   3 (Auros is a way for Samurais to control Reality with their mind or rather, the perception of reality by others)
Sword Fighting/Martial Arts level : 20  He has mastered 20 forms of Sword Play and 20 forms of martial arts.
Appearance:   http://pigeonkill.deviantart.com/art/Samurai-72647558

Limits on Power
He can only use 1 type of power at a time unless he is combining all the types of power into one final overkill attack.  is the character I shall use for this lesson.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on January 18, 2010, 07:30:45 PM
He is too young to have mastered even three different forms of either one. Age must be realistic to their abilities. The more things they have mastered, the older the character must be.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on January 18, 2010, 08:28:15 PM
Name: Arcane Shadow
Age: He is about 250 years old. He appears however to be 25 years old.
Race: Sage
Alliance: None but he follows the Noble code of the Samurai.
Biography: He was born on a cave on Magimeta 18 years ago today and is a very tough person these days. His parents abandoned him but a Samurai who lived in the cave taught him the way of the Samurai and took care of him until he was 18. Now Arcane is the last of the Samurais in existence and has learned he has not only the powers of a Samurai but also the powers of Negion, Retribution, Order’s Sage level unique spells and those of Gallaghar as well at his disposal. The Samurai died shortly thereafter and Arcane became the new Samurai in place of his former mentor. He is more of a ask questions first then go in for the kill type of person.

Arcane then began his travels and noticed that Ancient monsters were indeed being released from the prison and realized he had been trained to fight said monsters and win by the Samurai. He found out there was a YinYang symbol on his right hand marking that he had Negion and an inverted YinYang symbol on his left hand marking that he had Retribution Magic at his disposal as well.

He decided he would be better than the Samurai and not die so easily. By studying mystic texts he learned to command his Negion and Retribution and Sage abilities in order to become better than the Samurai. Now at age 25, he is ready. He seeks retribution on those who killed mages and sages and using his Samurai talents he is going after the Anrufe first since they made the war start and they are to blame for the bloodshed of the Aralangs and of ordinary mages or sages.

He has also learned the special abilities of both Negion and Retribution users and by combining that, his skill at over 17 martial arts and his training with a sword so far he has become an unstoppable warrior.

In addition to learning martial arts and the specializing in magic types he can also hack a computer with some ease since he took the time to learn how to perform that technique all on his own.

Weapons: Ferocity : (See Appearance for Picture) This sword is endowed with a property that allows it to counter magic meaning that most spells will not harm this blade in any way, shape or form.

He in addition has found a staff capable of utilizing Mana which is a form of magic that has been lost to time. He figured out how to control the power of the staff and how to focus his own power through it. Currently he can only wrap his opponets up in constructs of energy and hurl them, fire energy orbs or form barriers with the staff.



Equipment: None
Magic Level: 5
Auros Level: 3 (Auros is a way for Samurais to control Reality with their mind or rather, the perception of reality by others)
Sword Fighting/Martial Arts level : 20 He has mastered 20 forms of Sword Play and 20 forms of martial arts.
Appearance: http://pigeonkill.deviantart.com/art/Samurai-72647558

Limits on Power
He can only use 1 type of power at a time unless he is combining all the types of power into one final overkill attack. is the character I shall use for this lesson.

Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on January 18, 2010, 08:35:19 PM
(A bit better, though none of the battle stuff will be used in this class. Because this is not the Battle class, we will not be fighting.)

"Arcane!" An old sounding voice calls out from a nearby alley. "You're late!"
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on January 18, 2010, 08:38:56 PM
Arcane uncloaked himself. He had been watching someone rob someone else and studying their vulnerabilities. He then walked towards the source of the voice "Yes?"
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on January 18, 2010, 08:46:12 PM
"You were supposed to be here two days ago. What took you so long?" He replies harshly, grabbing Arcane by the forearm and dragging him into the alley.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on January 19, 2010, 08:47:01 AM
"Well I ran into a few delays." He said as he thought of the people who had blown up his car much to his dismay and their discomfort later that day. He then thought of the robbers who had been at the bank a paltry few hours ago and whom he had stopped in their tracks until the police could arrive. He then said "So what is it?"
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on January 19, 2010, 02:53:36 PM
He sighs and shakes his head. "Because you were so late, I had to take care of it myself. I realize you sympathize with people easily, but you need to learn when to stop. This is the fourth time you've been critically late. Once more, and I may have to, relieve, you of your membership."
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on January 19, 2010, 04:50:30 PM
Arcane then thought of what he could say to the person who he was talking to. He then was deep in thought because he was confused about what to say to the person and then he thought up what to say. "Alright, I will no longer help them as much even though this city is plagued with problems. " 
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on January 19, 2010, 05:37:37 PM
Ok, now go back and analyze every post, mine and yours, and tell me how it could have been done better.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on January 19, 2010, 05:44:26 PM
Well as for my posts, I could have had him arrive earlier and also avoid using his power.
As for yours they could have been longer.
As for mine, they should have been longer.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on January 19, 2010, 08:20:06 PM
Wrong class Hawk. This is the Character Interaction class, not the Literacy class. Try again, this time focus on the actual content of the posts.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on January 19, 2010, 08:25:28 PM
I could have interacted more with the character you chose to play by using Arcane in a more effective manor.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on January 19, 2010, 08:53:07 PM
Yes, you could have. Now, get more specific.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on January 24, 2010, 05:25:02 PM
You'll never pass this class if you don't post, Hawkeye.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on January 25, 2010, 10:46:56 PM
Sigh.

I could have improved by making the post take in the details of yours thus continuing the plot of the RP we were doing in a far better way.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on January 25, 2010, 10:50:34 PM
Why are you sighing? I'm trying to help you improve in an area you are lacking skill in.

So, how could you have taken the details I gave you, and used them to enhance the interaction between the characters?
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on January 26, 2010, 12:03:47 AM
1. I was sighing since like yesterday I am still sick as I was which means unfortunately no school for me.
2. I could have taken the details in to account and had Arcane not arrive late.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on January 26, 2010, 12:15:16 AM
Since the sequence started off with Arcane already being late, that could not have been helped. But, perhaps I should rephrase my question.

What details could you have used to further show Arcane's personality, and how could you use those details to attain that goal?
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on January 26, 2010, 06:11:50 PM
I could have added in emotions to the post to show his emotional state and used it to further the post, by making him more real.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on January 28, 2010, 08:12:12 PM
Now, pick any one of your posts from the previous passage, and do just that.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on January 31, 2010, 10:45:44 AM
Arcane was saddened when he heard the guy say he was late. He knew it wouldn't turn out well for him if he was ever late again. Irritation was what he felt at the city for allowing such people to run the streets though. He had taken down 30 criminals the previous night and before that 100 murderers who had busted out of jail. His annoyance at being forced to be up all night chasing them was very strong. He then uncloaked himself in front of the man. He looked almost as if he could fall over asleep at any moment in time.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on January 31, 2010, 08:24:20 PM
Better characterization, but there's no actual interaction, which is what we're trying to work on.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on February 01, 2010, 04:35:48 PM
Arcane was saddened when he heard the guy say he was late. He knew it wouldn't turn out well for him if he was ever late again. Irritation was what he felt at the city for allowing such people to run the streets though. He had taken down 30 criminals the previous night and before that 100 murderers who had busted out of jail. His annoyance at being forced to be up all night chasing them was very strong. He then uncloaked himself in front of the man. He looked almost as if he could fall over asleep at any moment in time. He then said to the man who said he was late a few seconds ago letting the magical cloak around himself fade "I am sorry I wasn't here on time and it won't happen again." His face looked repentant. His eyes looked timid and filled with pain for being late.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on February 01, 2010, 05:37:10 PM
Better, he has some sort of personality affecting his interaction now. But, do you know anyone that reacts that extremely just to being late? I mean, you've practically got him crying about it.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on February 03, 2010, 08:27:10 PM
No. I was just feeling dramatic at the time.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on February 04, 2010, 12:02:44 AM
Don't get me wrong Hawkeye, dramatic can be good, but you've taken it to where he's about to cry just for being late. I hope I don't have to tell you how that's not good.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on February 04, 2010, 09:02:18 AM
You don't.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on February 04, 2010, 03:31:34 PM
Ok. Try doing it dramatically, but reasonably so.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on February 06, 2010, 05:05:39 PM
Hawkeye.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on February 06, 2010, 06:54:11 PM
Arcane heard what the man had said. He was not very saddened but yet he was sad about it. He had up to that point always been punctual. Now the record he had worked so hard to lay the foundation for and make rocket skyward had been erased. Never again could he claim to not be tardy at all. 

Arcane slowly walked towards the man still cloaked by his magic. He didn't as of yet wish to reveal his new attire to the man. He needed to find a place to alter his clothing. He decided since he could not at the moment be viewed. Concentrating and focusing on his abilities he then used his techniques.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on February 07, 2010, 02:21:01 PM
this is the interaction class Hawkeye, you need to have character interaction in your posts here.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on February 08, 2010, 05:43:39 PM
Arcane heard what the man had said. He was not very saddened but yet he was sad about it. He had up to that point always been punctual. Now the record he had worked so hard to lay the foundation for and make rocket skyward had been erased. Never again could he claim to not be tardy at all.

Arcane slowly walked towards the man still cloaked by his magic. He didn't as of yet wish to reveal his new attire to the man. He needed to find a place to alter his clothing. He decided since he could not at the moment be viewed. Concentrating and focusing on his abilities he then used his techniques.

He then let loose the cloaking on himself. Slowly the mist that was cloaking him faded away revealing his form. After the task was accomplished his entire body glowed with energy. "I know I am late. However I had important matters to attend to. " He was badly wounded.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on February 09, 2010, 12:36:20 AM
Better. Now, I am going to overlap this class with your Characterization class for the next section.

I want you to create a new character. The template is up to you, but it must have at least nine different details. The character will not have force, or magic, or any other similar abilities. It will be a normal person. In addition to this, I want you to make the character have a personality and back-story that takes you out of your comfort zone. Something you have not done yet, or would not normally do. Drama is acceptable, if it is kept to a reasonable level.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on February 15, 2010, 04:52:51 PM
Name: Gre Maximus
Age: 150
Race: Cyborg Human
Alliance:   Himself
Biography: He was taken in to a project on earth to make the world's first cybernetic super soldier. When he was just an infant the technology was put inside him that would transform him into Legacy Red, a super powered cybernetic champion. The government on earth liked this ideas as it gave them someone able to fight the mages that had grown so prevalent on Earth. The constant visits of the Paranormal were annoying and so Gre was outfitted with an extendable AM field to protect himself from their abilities. Now at age 150, he seeks to make a sage have similar parts and no magical or force abilities whatsoever as an insult to the sages. He has grown up hating all beings of magic. He loathes magic users and wishes to see them all extinct. He is usually calm in battle and relies on his tech in addition to martial arts to give him an advantage.
Weapons: His Arms, His legs. His left eye.  His arm can turn into a variety of technological weapons including a cannon,  a dual bladed sword that can fire bolts of electricity, a stinger along with a sleep inducer and many other weapons. His legs have spines on them which can be shot off as missiles. His left eye can fire a laser.
Equipment: Repair Kit
Magic Level: Due to AM field, he is resistant. He is also resistant due to the blend of magically resistant metals used in his creation.
Force Level:   Due to AF field, he is resistant. Force Resistant Metals were used in his creation to protect him from it.
Appearance:   http://deligaris.deviantart.com/art/Cyborg-10720967

I didn't give him magic or force abilities as per your specifications.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on February 15, 2010, 06:33:15 PM
No, you didn't. Instead, you made a super soldier. I told you to make a NORMAL PERSON.

Do it over.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on February 15, 2010, 07:06:48 PM
Name: Gre Maximus
Age: 25
Race: Human
Alliance: none
Biography: At age 5, he was sent off to school by his parents who had tried to teach him religion. He had of course rejected religion as stupid at that time since most of it seemed to him to be crap. His teachers were very strict on him because he always daydreamed in class. Eventually Gre got tired of being hit with yard sticks by those idiotic teachers who constantly hassled him to learn. He started doing his work and faster than they could dish it out. He had been secretly copying the answers from another student who needed money for lunch. Gre was happy to give up his lunch money if it prevented the teachers from whacking him with a yard stick or sending him to detention. After graduating from middle school Gre decided that he would take an advanced placement test which he of course failed. Failing at advance placement struck him with grief and he decided to go through High School with no shortcuts and no money from his parents whatsoever. His parents thought he was being the fool for rejecting their money. However when it became evident that they were guilty of Tax Evasion due to him blowing the whistle on it, the government paid him quite the sum of 250,000 dollars for blowing the whistle on it. After that he never worried about money again. He put the check in home national bank and let it gain interest.  Finally at age 17, he graduated early by taking a test that allowed him to. Once graduated he determined to never fail at getting his taxes and all other dues to the government paid. However he was never very patriotic for the USA. He never did the flag salute at school thinking it a waste of time. He usually had his head in a book about drawing. At age 18, he finally decided to spend 600 dollars of the check and so he bought not only a laptop, but a sketch pad, pencils, markers, paints and a bunch of other supplies including how to draw books. He has also downloaded various games off of the internet onto his laptop in case he gets bored.
Weapons: none
Equipment: Sketch Pad, Laptop, Pencils, Markers, Paints.
Magic Level: 0
Force Level:   0
Appearance:  

Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on February 22, 2010, 10:31:20 PM
A very boring sounding person with a relatively unreasonable background, but ok. Next, I want you to rp a section of interaction between Gre and another person. You may pick the environment.

EDIT: Let me clarify. A nonviolent section of interaction, subject to the expectations required for an Intermediate placement grade.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on March 02, 2010, 09:18:00 AM
The school was a drab and boring place for Gre to be at the moment. He didn't by any means actually enjoy being forced to attend school and keep his grades up. He was tense since he knew what came after lunch would be difficult for him. He was not very good at paying attention in class and there was a big test after lunch in BCA which was annoying for him. However after today he realized jubilantly that he might be graduating. He approached where the teacher was.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on March 02, 2010, 09:45:40 PM
I meant an entire section of rp, not just a single post.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on March 03, 2010, 05:59:04 PM
Gre was approached by the teacher. The teacher was bald headed and looked to be in his 50s. The teacher named John Pierre said to Gre "How has your life been recently Gre? Any trouble I should know about?" Gre wasn't very smart but sometimes he was  known to be a prankster of sorts. He laughed when John Pierre asked him about that for he did indeed have mischief planned.

John "You need some more work Gre and so I am assigning you volunteer service at the house of veterans for about a month. It should break you of your rebellious streak and help you learn to be better organized." John had his face in a scowl when he said this to Gre.

Gre sighed as he got yet another punishment. This simply wouldn't do for him to be punished like such. He would of course have to have his revenge on John at some point later in the future. He went off to get his school supplies to leave school to do his punishment.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on March 03, 2010, 11:50:00 PM
So Gre doesn't talk?
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on March 04, 2010, 08:50:41 AM
(He does. )

Gre responded to the teacher "No. I have done one such task for you before. It was enough. "

John  Pierre "Then prepare for your worst nightmare, suspension. "

Gre "As if. I could just get it appealed. I am on good terms with the principal. "

John Pierre "Two months worth of detention + 2 years of community service. "

Gre "You can't do that you know. It is beyond the power of any teacher or school employee to do such a thing to any student including me."

John Pierre then walked off.

(Ran out of time so I couldn't put in this part yesterday)
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on March 04, 2010, 02:30:09 PM
That was horrible. There's no body language, no descriptors, nothing.

When people talk, they don't just use words. They move, they have facial expressions, they have different tones of voice, you as a writer need to acknowledge and use that.

Try it again.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on March 04, 2010, 05:05:43 PM
Very well.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on March 07, 2010, 11:34:44 PM
Well, do it. You won't be able to pass my class with these half-assed attempts at getting me to leave you alone.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on March 08, 2010, 08:54:40 AM
Gre was approached by the teacher. The teacher was bald headed and looked to be in his 50s. The teacher named John Pierre said to Gre "How has your life been recently Gre? Any trouble I should know about?" Gre wasn't very smart but sometimes he was  known to be a prankster of sorts. He laughed when John Pierre asked him about that for he did indeed have mischief planned.

John "You need some more work Gre and so I am assigning you volunteer service at the house of veterans for about a month. It should break you of your rebellious streak and help you learn to be better organized." John had his face in a scowl when he said this to Gre.

Gre sighed as he got yet another punishment. This simply wouldn't do for him to be punished like such. He would of course have to have his revenge on John at some point later in the future. He went off to get his school supplies to leave school to do his punishment.

Gre responded to the teacher "No. I have done one such task for you before. It was enough. "

John  Pierre "Then prepare for your worst nightmare, suspension. " As John Pierre said this Gre immediately tensed up. His normal smile was changed instead into a scowl.

Gre "As if. I could just get it appealed. I am on good terms with the principal. "As he was talking John Pierre’s facial expression was one of disgust. John took out a detention pad and began writing on it.

John Pierre "Two months worth of detention + 2 years of community service. " He handed the detention slip to Gre. He looked like victory had indeed been achieved by him.

Gre "You can't do that you know. It is beyond the power of any teacher or school employee to do such a thing to any student including me." At first Gre looked confused and saw the detention slip. He took it and shredded it to bits within his hands and got a smirk of victory on his face.

John Pierre upon seeing what Gre had done decided to leave. He immediately walked off so that he would leave Gre alone. “You still have detention you know?” he said in a frustrated voice as he walked off.
 

 
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on March 08, 2010, 07:52:57 PM
Hm, enough to pass onto Intermediate. Now, you need to learn how to do this continually. For the next week, I will be looking at each and every IC post you make on this board. I want every one of them to hold up to Intermediate level character interaction. Every single one.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on March 23, 2010, 03:07:29 PM
Yes, it has been much longer than a week. However, I still do not see you actually using the things you have learned in my class, or even in Hikaru's. Until I see you actually putting to use that which we teach you, I cannot allow you to take the evaluation.

We are teaching you for a reason. Do not simply blow us off.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on March 25, 2010, 10:09:19 AM
Alright. Sorry my mind has been on other matters.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on March 26, 2010, 12:59:38 AM
As has mine, but I still find the time to actually make use of what I am taught in the few lessons I am taking. I understand if matters of the heart, or complicated family situations keep you from posting to the best of your ability, but to completely ignore lessons can only be rightfully explained by either not understanding the lesson or serious issues in your offline life.

If it is one of those, let me know. If it is, I am sorry for snapping at you about this.

To prove to me whether you have internalized your lessons or not, I want you to apply everything we've taught you, from each of the classes you have taken thus far, in our duel in the Off Topic Colosseum. If you wish, I will allow a restart to said topic, as long as you let me know beforehand.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on March 26, 2010, 03:52:29 PM
Hmm how should I put this.

1. Several issues that I will not describe at the moment Nisorin are currently taking up my time. I shall be extremely busy over the next few weeks and if I can post the quality of them may not be good so please don't complain about it. I forgive you for snapping at me but as I said many issues are demanding my attention including dealing with some animals who seem to have taken up residence in the attic. 

2. Yes I will restart the topic though I shall of course not be using Zero. I have another idea for the guy that I shall use and this one shall be more unique than Zane. Should take me longer though to create that particular one.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Nisorin on April 08, 2010, 12:39:08 AM
I understand that you do have school to attend to, Hawkeye, but if you have enough time to post so much with Red, you have the time to post in one battle thread with me.
Title: Re: Class
Post by: Zero on April 20, 2010, 12:29:02 AM
I am in the process of making the character I will use.