Shattered Planes Archives (Seasons 4 & 5)
The Board => Archive => Void => Topic started by: King Jeebus on August 01, 2011, 08:57:18 PM
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(http://img109.imageshack.us/img109/719/72030066.png)
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What's that Jeebus? You enjoy the company of old men?
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The movies of Twilight aren't that bad. They're not that great either, but not anything near as bad as people say.
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The movies of Twilight aren't that bad. They're not that great either, but not anything near as bad as people say.
Dammit Nik, I liked you too man.
Now I gotta have you killed :(
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Meh. The action's well done. 8)
Also, from what I hear is that the books are terribly slow paced. I heard that more happens in the first book of the hunger games then the first three Twilight books even though it's got about a quarter as many pages.
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Nik, the Hunger Games, despite being somewhat short, is pure unfiltered awesome.
The Twilight series, in comparison, is pure unfiltered fail.
Attempting to compare the two will likely prove hazardous to your health.
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No. Just hazardous to the health of any real Twilight fans.
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Er...No...Ye attempted to compare the two at all, and not to prove Twilights horribleness(explicitely, anyways). Hunger Games fans shall hunt ye down.
Ye hath been warned, mi friend. Run, run for your liiiiiife!
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I am a Hunger Games fan though. And I said that Hunger Games was better.
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He's not saying that you think Twilight is better, he's saying that comparing a piece of shit book to a great book will have the great book's fans attempting to kill you. And they will. With rusty axes.
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Twilight is a joke. It's a massive, steaming pile of shit that is only useful for starting fires. And for that purpose, it's rather overpriced. I don't see what the hype is about it, and yes I did actually sit down and read it. I'd prefer Garth Nix or Daniel Suarez or Salvatore any day.
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Wait wait wait.....
People still read books?
I thought that was one of those things reserved for hipsters and people from the dark ages?
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...Jeebus, I take great offense to that.
*bashes Jeebus on the head with a crowbar*
Ragga fragga, comparin' me to HIPSTERS...
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Consider chains yanked.
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I read Twilight. It was pretty bad. But the movie was worse.
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I read Twilight. It was pretty bad. But the movie was worse.
This^
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I heard the movies are better because they skip through the bit's that are hard to read.
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TERRY PRATCHETT FOOLS
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IS AMAZING
But I also red Twilight. Its not great but its not THAT bad. The movies on the other hand are completely crap.
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Twilight WAS bad. Even Stephen King said it was bad. He was quoted as telling Stephanie Meyer she was no J.K. Rowling. When one of the most famous authors of our time disses it? Then you know it's bad.
As for why it's bad...
My biggest pet peeve was ...
#1. They take 300 pages and half the book to bring out that they're vampires. That long to find out. YET on the back of the book (the back flap summary) right there! It admits plain as day they're vampires. Tells you, doesn't leave any surprise. If you're going to take that damn long to reveal some high plot point, don't give it away on the back cover. The part that EVERYONE reads before even buying a book. That's just stupid. It's not suspense if you already know what to expect.
#2. There. Is. No. Plot. The whole book is Bella's school life day by day, a little bit different each day, with her just complaining and talking about Edward. Ever read those old books the Sweet Valley High series? Or Soap Operas? Hell, even a Soap Opera has a plot. This doesn't. The whole first half is you just reading her every day life. Any writer knows you have to have conflict and and a point of action after your introductory. Twilight doe snot. The whole thing is introductory with some action thrown at the end as a conclusion. No climax, no point of action, NOTHING TO KEEP YOU READING FOR. It does not draw the reader whatsoever.
#3. Bella is a Mary Sue. She's too perfect. She has now flaws. She has nothing that would make Edward fall for her, and yet he does (out of nowhere just the whole "love at first sight" deal.) She faints at blood. Oh dear me! You're surrounded by vampires and the best flaw you can give us readers is to faint at the sight of blood. -.- The love scene happened way too fast with nothing to even bring the characters together.
#4. Adding to #3, Edward falls in love with Bella THE DAY SHE GETS THERE. He ignores and gets mad at her because he was in love with her. She did nothing to make him fall in love with her. Did nothing out of the ordinary and wasn't even described as all that pretty. He just fell in love with her and watches her sleep/stalks her to her house. Just because Stephanie Meyer threw in LOVE AT FIGHT SIGHT. Yuck.
And.. #5. As a friend of mine said, "The whole book was just a way to describe how drop dead sexy Edward was with a little story thrown on the side to make it a book." It basically is. For every noun Stephanie Meyers threw in 6-8 adjectives. She completely overused and abused the Thesaurus and brought in words that would make you have to have a dictionary by your side just to give more information on how beautiful Edward was. When by all rights the way she described him, he should be a homosexual. Any writing book will tell you to go easy on big words and using the thesaurus to give more than one word for the same thing. Oh and they also warn to not repeat yourself to the reader. Meyers does it all.
...And that's not even going into the whole Sparkles in Sunlight and destroying Vampire Lore. That's just about the writing its self. For the Lore.. Vampires in love is okay if done right. I mean I loved Anne Rice's novels. Lestat forever! But... she knows how to write. Meyers does not.
I only read the first book, so I can't tell you how badly done the others were.
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Foruth book was the worst, hands down. And not because it was badly written (they all are) but because of what it promises. From the second book meyers starts hinting that the Italian vapires(her shitty version of Ann Rice vampires) are going ot a be a problem throughout the later novels, in the fourht books that happens. Bella gets preganat and has a freaky pyshcic lochness monster vampire chest burster baby that Jacob falls in love with(oh look, pedophile
werewolf shapeshifter, I really needed that, thanks Meyers). The Annricepires find out and decide to fuck some shit up. They make a journey to america and the Edward and co. gather up an army. Not a wuss ass army, an honest to God badass army. They have a vampires who's bascially the avatar. They got psychics, werewolves shapeshifters all that crap. Hell yeah! Some fucking action! What happens next you ask? Do the two armies clash and kick the fuck outta each other? Do they spill guts and blood? Is there headspolsions? No, no theres not. The Annricepires get talked out of fighting, leave and everything goes back to normal. The End. The FUCKING END. Bitch.
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Trope spotted. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ptitlel9hiod7i)
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Damn, he saw what I did here.
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1) That really sucks. 300 pages is what? the first third of the book? To long!
2) There seemed to be plot in the movie. Day to day life, but there's the climax where the bad vampire attacks in the dance studio.
3) She's boring. My family who's read it say that she was severely watered down for the movie.
4) A romance is only interesting if you can fall in love with the characters yourself.
5) Agreed.
And Orga, vampire's with blood is pretty lame if you ask me.
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Damn, he saw what I did here.
(http://chan.catiewayne.com/c/src/130630642466.jpg)
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Eh, I read the series over a week after finishing a really good fantasy romance, The Kiesha'ra Series. It was being passed around my friend Jessica's place like crazy. If I had taken Ryan, Ricky, Rick, Jessica, Anthony, and cos word for it I would had thought it was a decent book series until I encountered the well earned hatedom.
I keep reading it trying to dissect it like a Silent Hill plot analysis, just because nothing in its progression make any sense. Until I figured out an interpretation that makes perfect sense to me, and thanks to believing in "Death of the Author" I take as my own personal canon.
You see Edward is actually a drug addict. Their foster father is a bleeding heart well off small town doctor who takes in troubled teens. Bella is a narcissistic new comer with daddy issues. As she comes up with wild fantasy of what Edward is, she get hit by another student car at school and in in a coma. After that, the rest of the book is her come-world translating what it hears in the hospital into the dream-logic of her coma. Considering the sudden reappearance of Jake as a clingy decoy love interest, I think its safe to say Sake is one sick boy and is taking advantage of her coma.
The baby at the end? Jake's and Bella's kid. He's now in prison for 5-10 and her dad is now raising his comatose daughter's child. Edward? OD'd on meth.