Shattered Planes Archives (Seasons 4 & 5)
The Hub => Hangout => Creative Corner => Topic started by: Capxeno on August 23, 2011, 06:07:27 AM
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In the flash of a moment
Hand in hand with whim
I lost something dreaded yet treasured
Resigned to the guilt of the past
With no desire for redemption
The future seemed so clear
A running train of careless insanity
With no care for the repercussion to myself
Am I going to have to learn to live in a world
Where there are people I truly care about
Without even trying I found what I wasn't looking for
A weight on my shoulders not lifted, but no longer a burden
The person I used to be is no more
There is an uncertainty in what is to come
That I am not sure I wish to accept
Rain of catharsis renews
Whoever I am now
The dance of masks still reciting
What will I craft today?
All I know
Is that without knowing
The coarse of my life has changed
I know why I was filled with apathy and animosity toward myself
Now that I no longer have that
I live in a world where I can like myself
All I know
Is that I truly hope I don't mess this up
I can't take another one night stand
Another self-destructive flight of whimsy
Each moment of rushing to dangerous moments
Each passion filled but love lacking kiss
Another chip of my soul gone
I want to live now
Why does that terrify me?
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When will it be enough
Rivers of tears have rained from cracking eyes
What kind of monster am I
If the only kind of schemes that come to mind
Are ways to lead her hope along
Only to shatter it
It doesn't matter she has done the same to me many times
Its been years
So why cannot a shred of empathy
A single iota of forgiveness
For someone who I should care about
Be found
Could use the excuse its my nature
That she's just another Scorpion and has done the same
But that is all it will be
Empty justification
For a slow revenge that doesn't mean anything anymore
For emotions and pain that cannot truly be said I still have
Pondering the success of the last machination
Wishing for ignorance of the fact
That for it to have worked so well
She had to have still felt strongly about me
Knowing that returning it now, is impossible
Nor that I would want to
Has me questioning my humanity again
Considering how much this life of mine
How much others have been influenced
By the results of a single crystallized moment of hopeless frustration exploding violently
Strings of time I am beginning to understand and learn to influence
I cannot honestly say what my life would be like
Had these scars not come to pass
A bloodied hand, and a broken window