Shattered Planes Archives (Seasons 4 & 5)

The Hub => Hangout => Canned Spam => Topic started by: Embodiment of Cringe on February 15, 2012, 08:34:54 PM

Title: The government is out to get me.
Post by: Embodiment of Cringe on February 15, 2012, 08:34:54 PM: I'm sent to pick up pizza. Okay. I drive a little over 2.3 miles to Papa Johns to pick up said pizzas. It was upon this moment that when I reached into my back pocket to pull out the money to pay for said pizzas...
My wallet was missing, therefore, my license was gone. Luckily, I still had the money on me to pay for said pizzas, so I succeeded at that at least. I think "Hey, I'll just go back the way I came from. There were no police cars at all that way." So intent on following my plan, I decide to get in my car and, well, drive. Thing is...

Just before I pull out of the Papa John's parking lot, I see a cop car go across the road in front of me. The very first thought that comes to me is this: '... Is this some sort of omen?' And then, as if all of the universe said all at once in unison, "yes," I faced the most rather displeasing and rather uncanny ~20 minutes of my life.
On the road that Papa Johns was connected to, driving to an intersection I need to get home, a Police car passes on the opposite lane.
At the intersection, a Police car turns into the road I'm coming from. Another one follows it. They came from the way I was going. Deciding not to go back on my original plan, I go forward, thinking that the few police cars that probably were on the road I was going to was gone.
On the road that the two cop cars come from, another passes by.
On the next intersection, one where I normally turn into to get home, another cop car turns out of it. I then decide to forget the original plan and go another route where I can clearly see any police cars in the dead of night.
Another police car passes me on my new route.
Upon turning into my street, a police car pulls out of my street.
Before I pull into my home, I see another police car pass by. And then, I notice a car behind me. Deciding not to take any chances, I carefully signal, slow down, and turn into my driveway flawlessly.
It was a police car, and it silently drove on.

Ten Police cars, all going in the direction I came from, all coming from the direction I go home to.
Title: Re: The government is out to get me.
Post by: Ghost on February 15, 2012, 10:23:57 PM: That's the funniest/scariest/weirdest thing I heard so far this year. :/
Title: Re: The government is out to get me.
Post by: UnStellar on February 15, 2012, 11:38:19 PM: ZAI RUN
Title: Re: The government is out to get me.
Post by: K2 on February 16, 2012, 09:47:14 AM: He's onto us.
Title: Re: The government is out to get me.
Post by: Capxeno on February 17, 2012, 03:38:00 PM: Zai... do you support the party? Do you love big brother?

*tosses in pit of rats*
Title: Re: The government is out to get me.
Post by: King Jeebus on February 17, 2012, 04:11:25 PM: Hey Zai like if they kill you can I have your stuff?
Title: Re: The government is out to get me.
Post by: Admiral Regis Hermitage on February 17, 2012, 04:25:16 PM: Quote from: Overlord Jeebus on February 17, 2012, 04:11:25 PM
Hey Zai like if they kill you can I have your stuff?

*pushes Jeebus out of the way* Dibs!
Title: Re: The government is out to get me.
Post by: Orga the Strange on February 17, 2012, 04:33:46 PM: What? Dude I live way closer to Zai than you, I should get his stuff. :p
Title: Re: The government is out to get me.
Post by: Ragnar the Red on February 17, 2012, 10:23:02 PM: I live close ish. Can I have some stuff?
Title: Re: The government is out to get me.
Post by: Ghost on February 17, 2012, 11:07:23 PM: Of course you guys of all people don't try to protect him :P
Title: Re: The government is out to get me.
Post by: UnStellar on February 18, 2012, 12:52:06 AM: Hell no. If we help him the government will go after us too. Why should we be drug down with him?
Title: Re: The government is out to get me.
Post by: Ragnar the Red on February 18, 2012, 12:38:50 PM: Yeah, we'll help him get

Behind Bars! rahahahahaha!
Title: Re: The government is out to get me.
Post by: Embodiment of Cringe on February 18, 2012, 02:04:16 PM: Quote
He's onto us.

D:

Quote
Zai... do you support the party? Do you love big brother?

*tosses in pit of rats*

No! Never! The government will never own me!

Quote
Hey Zai like if they kill you can I have your stuff?

Uh, sure?

Quote
Quote
Hey Zai like if they kill you can I have your stuff?
*pushes Jeebus out of the way* Dibs!
Quote
I live close ish. Can I have some stuff?

...

Quote
Of course you guys of all people don't try to protect him :P
Quote
Hell no. If we help him the government will go after us too. Why should we be drug down with him?
Quote
Yeah, we'll help him get

Behind Bars! rahahahahaha!

D':
Title: Re: The government is out to get me.
Post by: Embodiment of Cringe on February 18, 2012, 02:08:31 PM: This is your faithful friend Zai. I wanted to let you all know that I am fine, and the government is not out to get me. Rather, I think we all should embrace our government as well as believe in it. Be sure to vote for your favorite candidate in the upcoming elections!
Title: Re: The government is out to get me.
Post by: Ghost on February 18, 2012, 02:19:30 PM: bolded letters: Helme lol I think he meant "Help me"
Title: Re: The government is out to get me.
Post by: Ragnar the Red on February 18, 2012, 04:25:46 PM: If he had used correct grammar the CIA would have caught on
Title: Re: The government is out to get me.
Post by: Ghost on February 18, 2012, 04:30:34 PM: Meh.
Title: Re: The government is out to get me.
Post by: K2 on February 19, 2012, 12:46:26 PM: Quote from: Avalanche on February 18, 2012, 02:19:30 PM
bolded letters: Helme lol I think he meant "Help me"

Shhh <.<
Title: Re: The government is out to get me.
Post by: Ghost on February 19, 2012, 01:01:55 PM: I dunno whay you people are shushing at me for. Wanna help zai make an apple pie :X
Title: Re: The government is out to get me.
Post by: Ragnar the Red on February 19, 2012, 01:02:59 PM: I'll bring the ~~cyanide~~ cinnamon!
Title: Re: The government is out to get me.
Post by: Ghost on February 19, 2012, 11:34:41 PM: I has apples~
Title: Re: The government is out to get me.
Post by: Orga the Strange on February 20, 2012, 04:02:20 PM: ....so do I still get your PSP?
Title: Re: The government is out to get me.
Post by: Ghost on February 20, 2012, 04:30:59 PM: Quote from: CL4P-TP on February 20, 2012, 04:02:20 PM
....so do I still get your PSP?
You get Cupcakes
Title: Re: The government is out to get me.
Post by: K2 on February 20, 2012, 04:32:04 PM: !move Canned Spam
Title: Re: The government is out to get me.
Post by: UnStellar on February 20, 2012, 04:44:54 PM: CUPCAKES ARE LIES DISGUISED IN CUPS

MY WORDS ARE LIES DISGUISED IN CAPS
Title: Re: The government is out to get me.
Post by: Ghost on February 20, 2012, 04:56:21 PM: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oaYkYcYadU
Title: Re: The government is out to get me.
Post by: Ragnar the Red on February 20, 2012, 11:33:58 PM: Ghaaaah! Swift, your pony in your signiture is still freaking me out.
Title: Re: The government is out to get me.
Post by: Ghost on February 20, 2012, 11:39:31 PM: Quote from: Sir Nik the I- Prince of Fishies (and Cows) on February 20, 2012, 11:33:58 PM
Ghaaaah! Swift, your pony in your signiture is still freaking me out.
GOOD 8D