Author Topic: Class (Read 2800 times)

Zero · « **on:** January 10, 2010, 08:24:48 PM »

Slowly Gallaghar walked through his palace on Nosvasia which he thought had been carefully constructed by the Negion Duo of Avidan and Laura. He knew they liked each other even if they refused to admit it. However he wasn't past forcing them to work together since after all he needed them to work together to have their Negion at full power. Avidan was the good and Laura was the evil. He then walked to the podium of the palace prepared to give his speech of the day that would put him fully in charge of this world. He then said to the people once he arrived at the balcony of the palace "Once you were ruled by tyrants and locked up in prison and now you are ruled by me. Would you have me die before my time and let some other group come in and take over this world which I took for you with my skill and that of Laura and Avidan?"

Avidan "I am not much for speeches. " He then said to the people "You must obey Gallaghar for you are bonded to him so that you are protected from those who would lay harm to your minds and desolate your bodies. "

Nisorin · « **Reply #1 on:** January 10, 2010, 08:26:54 PM »

I can't do anything with that sample, Hawkeye. There's no actual interaction between characters.

Zero · « **Reply #2 on:** January 10, 2010, 08:36:46 PM »

There. I have made it have interaction.

Nisorin · « **Reply #3 on:** January 10, 2010, 08:43:23 PM »

Well, it works for diplomacy...

I can tell you right now, from that speech, very, very few people are going to like you. You're basically admitting you took their planet by force, which is little more then a slap in the face.

Zero · « **Reply #4 on:** January 10, 2010, 08:47:41 PM »

FYI : The Planet was uninhabited except for Sentient Trees.

Nisorin · « **Reply #5 on:** January 10, 2010, 08:56:34 PM »

That doesn't matter.

Zero · « **Reply #6 on:** January 10, 2010, 09:19:45 PM »

As Gallaghar walked to the podium he began to think of a speech to give to the people. He needed one that would stir the people into fervors of loyalty and also make them never want to join the Anrufe. Yet how could he give it knowing his shield would fail at any time and the Anrufe could come in and wipe them all out. He worried about the people. He then figured out what to say and said "People of Novasia and subjects of the legacy empire, I worry about your wellbeing as long as the scourge of the Anrufe is allowed to plague the universe. "

Nisorin · « **Reply #7 on:** January 10, 2010, 09:34:25 PM »

Hm, not much at all to work with... By interaction, we mean interaction between two characters, two groups/empires, a character and a group, etc. Conversations, actions towards other characters, that is interaction. The reason I told you that you needed to learn basic interaction skills is because you do not seem able to create even somewhat realistic character interaction. Hell, you don't even knock before landing on a planet and asking for land.

Zero · « **Reply #8 on:** January 10, 2010, 09:36:50 PM »

Avidan and Laura hovered above the Planet Reloria and sent down a magical transmission to the Relorians asking for permission to meet their leaders. Gallaghar had said that Avidan and Laura needed to learn more about magic and so they decided that the Relorians would be a good place to start learning how to utilize magic. "Is anyone there?" asked Avidan

Nisorin · « **Reply #9 on:** January 10, 2010, 09:52:57 PM »

You seem to misunderstand. This is a place of improvement, not of rping. You need to make your character interactions more realistic. People speak with more than just their words, Hawkeye. Body language is a very important part of sentient interaction.

Zero · « **Reply #10 on:** January 10, 2010, 09:54:37 PM »

Avidan and Laura hovered above the Planet Reloria and sent down a magical transmission to the Relorians asking for permission to meet their leaders. As they descended Laura was fidgeting. She was always nervous about meetings with other empires. Avidan appeared to be confident. Gallaghar had said that Avidan and Laura needed to learn more about magic and so they decided that the Relorians would be a good place to start learning how to utilize magic. "Is anyone there?" asked Avidan

Nisorin · « **Reply #11 on:** January 10, 2010, 10:12:32 PM »

Better, now you need to work on personality. Every character has its own unique personality, and that is reflected in interactions between characters. These personalities can clash and cause conflict, or they can mix well and become friends. Just like real life people, characters have their own personalities, which affects how they interact.

Zero · « **Reply #12 on:** January 11, 2010, 03:24:01 PM »

Avidan felt calm and peace as he descended to Reloria where as Laura was afraid and upset. She was afraid of the Relorians but Avidan wasn't as he had learned to control his abilities to the point of making him a master of Negion. Laura was still weak compared to him in Negion use. His personality was that of someone who was usually calm. However Laura's personality was that of someone always angry all the time. He didn't want to fight her but if he had to, he would.

Nisorin · « **Reply #13 on:** January 11, 2010, 08:16:36 PM »

Have you read a book where the author puts the character's personality through like that? Neither have I, because even a child's storybook doesn't. Think about how actual authors get personalities across. They use the character's body language, the way they word their sentences, how they react to things, and other methods to show a character's personality. I want you to try doing this.

To accomplish this, you will analyze the Transmittal of Peace and Loreian Character request topics. You will tell me how each personality trait of Areis' that is listed in the request is represented in the Transmittal topic.

Zero · « **Reply #14 on:** January 15, 2010, 08:22:04 PM »

Aeris
Aeris is a person who dreams a lot and is also a militaristic person. His personality is carefree and a procrastinator making him put off battle plans until the last minute. However this usually turns to his advantage. He also seems to have a strict personality in addition. Sometimes though he is merciful. He is also sarcastic.

1. He is in the Topic of Transmittal seeming very sarcastic and also militaristic around Gallaghar and is very classified.
2. Another observation is that he is unlikely to trust anyone without more than a blood contract at his disposal.
3. He seems to be impatient.
4. Another thing in Transmittal of Peace is that he seems to want Gallaghar to leave his world for some odd reason.

Nisorin · « **Reply #15 on:** January 15, 2010, 09:16:14 PM »

Some of it you got right by thinking negatively, other parts are outright incorrect.

His entire race is one that has a high interest in the Arts. Art, Music, Drama, etc. They are a race of artists who have had to branch their skills out into battle. And of course he's going to be at least partly militaristic, he's the leader of an empire and is surrounded by war.

Saying that someone puts off planning battles until the last minute is an interesting way to look at it, but you could also say that he excels in making things up as he goes, improvising using what he has in front of him, rather than spending time beforehand planning in advance, which opens up possible strategic disasters if even one enemy finds even the smallest part of the plan out.

I have no idea where you got the strict bit from, considering he was a pirate for a few years.

And Gallaghar came in, has no prior history with the Loreians, has no knowledge at all about them, and you expect him to be able to convince ANYONE to let you use part of their planet? NOT only that, but Avidan, a confirmed comrade of Gallaghar, bursting in and exhibiting hostile behavior? You're lucky they didn't shoot on sight, as would be perfectly reasonable of ANY empire to do!

And if he wanted Gallaghar to leave, why would he have told Gallaghar to stay?

Zero · « **Reply #16 on:** January 17, 2010, 06:59:18 PM »

He told Gallaghar at that time to stay but later on he wished for Gallaghar to leave after Gallaghar fruitlessly attempted to explain what Avidan had been up to. It is true he failed with the Lorei and will not come back there for a very long time.

Nisorin · « **Reply #17 on:** January 17, 2010, 07:05:36 PM »

Well of course Areis would want Gallaghar to leave, Gallaghar was treating Areis like an idiot.

So, back on topic, I am going to give you a character to use in this thread. We will then rp for five posts each, and I will have you go through the posts and tell me exactly how you can improve your character interaction skills. It will not be an easy character to RP, and I will not be easy grading you.

Zero · « **Reply #18 on:** January 18, 2010, 10:02:40 AM »

Alright.

Name: Arcane Shadow
Age: He is about 25 years old.
Race: Sage
Alliance: None but he follows the Noble code of the Samurai.
Biography: He was born on a cave on Magimeta 18 years ago today and is a very tough person these days. His parents abandoned him but a Samurai who lived in the cave taught him the way of the Samurai and took care of him until he was 18. Now Arcane is the last of the Samurais in existence and has learned he has not only the powers of a Samurai but also the powers of Negion, Retribution, Orderâ€™s Sage level unique spells and those of Gallaghar as well at his disposal. The Samurai died shortly thereafter and Arcane became the new Samurai in place of his former mentor. He is more of a ask questions first then go in for the kill type of person.

Arcane then began his travels and noticed that Ancient monsters were indeed being released from the prison and realized he had been trained to fight said monsters and win by the Samurai. He found out there was a YinYang symbol on his right hand marking that he had Negion and an inverted YinYang symbol on his left hand marking that he had Retribution Magic at his disposal as well.

He decided he would be better than the Samurai and not die so easily. By studying mystic texts he learned to command his Negion and Retribution and Sage abilities in order to become better than the Samurai. Now at age 25, he is ready. He seeks retribution on those who killed mages and sages and using his Samurai talents he is going after the Anrufe first since they made the war start and they are to blame for the bloodshed of the Aralangs and of ordinary mages or sages.

He has also learned the special abilities of both Negion and Retribution users and by combining that, his skill at over 17 martial arts and his training with a sword so far he has become an unstoppable warrior.

In addition to learning martial arts and the specializing in magic types he can also hack a computer with some ease since he took the time to learn how to perform that technique all on his own.

Weapons: Ferocity : (See Appearance for Picture) This sword is endowed with a property that allows it to counter magic meaning that most spells will not harm this blade in any way, shape or form.

He in addition has found a staff capable of utilizing Mana which is a form of magic that has been lost to time. He figured out how to control the power of the staff and how to focus his own power through it. Currently he can only wrap his opponets up in constructs of energy and hurl them, fire energy orbs or form barriers with the staff.

Equipment: None
Magic Level: 5
Auros Level: 3 (Auros is a way for Samurais to control Reality with their mind or rather, the perception of reality by others)
Sword Fighting/Martial Arts level : 20 He has mastered 20 forms of Sword Play and 20 forms of martial arts.
Appearance: http://pigeonkill.deviantart.com/art/Samurai-72647558

Limits on Power
He can only use 1 type of power at a time unless he is combining all the types of power into one final overkill attack. is the character I shall use for this lesson.

Nisorin · « **Reply #19 on:** January 18, 2010, 07:30:45 PM »

He is too young to have mastered even three different forms of either one. Age must be realistic to their abilities. The more things they have mastered, the older the character must be.

Zero · « **Reply #20 on:** January 18, 2010, 08:28:15 PM »

Name: Arcane Shadow
Age: He is about 250 years old. He appears however to be 25 years old.
Race: Sage
Alliance: None but he follows the Noble code of the Samurai.
Biography: He was born on a cave on Magimeta 18 years ago today and is a very tough person these days. His parents abandoned him but a Samurai who lived in the cave taught him the way of the Samurai and took care of him until he was 18. Now Arcane is the last of the Samurais in existence and has learned he has not only the powers of a Samurai but also the powers of Negion, Retribution, Orderâ€™s Sage level unique spells and those of Gallaghar as well at his disposal. The Samurai died shortly thereafter and Arcane became the new Samurai in place of his former mentor. He is more of a ask questions first then go in for the kill type of person.

Arcane then began his travels and noticed that Ancient monsters were indeed being released from the prison and realized he had been trained to fight said monsters and win by the Samurai. He found out there was a YinYang symbol on his right hand marking that he had Negion and an inverted YinYang symbol on his left hand marking that he had Retribution Magic at his disposal as well.

He decided he would be better than the Samurai and not die so easily. By studying mystic texts he learned to command his Negion and Retribution and Sage abilities in order to become better than the Samurai. Now at age 25, he is ready. He seeks retribution on those who killed mages and sages and using his Samurai talents he is going after the Anrufe first since they made the war start and they are to blame for the bloodshed of the Aralangs and of ordinary mages or sages.

He has also learned the special abilities of both Negion and Retribution users and by combining that, his skill at over 17 martial arts and his training with a sword so far he has become an unstoppable warrior.

In addition to learning martial arts and the specializing in magic types he can also hack a computer with some ease since he took the time to learn how to perform that technique all on his own.

Weapons: Ferocity : (See Appearance for Picture) This sword is endowed with a property that allows it to counter magic meaning that most spells will not harm this blade in any way, shape or form.

He in addition has found a staff capable of utilizing Mana which is a form of magic that has been lost to time. He figured out how to control the power of the staff and how to focus his own power through it. Currently he can only wrap his opponets up in constructs of energy and hurl them, fire energy orbs or form barriers with the staff.

Equipment: None
Magic Level: 5
Auros Level: 3 (Auros is a way for Samurais to control Reality with their mind or rather, the perception of reality by others)
Sword Fighting/Martial Arts level : 20 He has mastered 20 forms of Sword Play and 20 forms of martial arts.
Appearance: http://pigeonkill.deviantart.com/art/Samurai-72647558

Limits on Power
He can only use 1 type of power at a time unless he is combining all the types of power into one final overkill attack. is the character I shall use for this lesson.

Nisorin · « **Reply #21 on:** January 18, 2010, 08:35:19 PM »

(A bit better, though none of the battle stuff will be used in this class. Because this is not the Battle class, we will not be fighting.)

"Arcane!" An old sounding voice calls out from a nearby alley. "You're late!"

Zero · « **Reply #22 on:** January 18, 2010, 08:38:56 PM »

Arcane uncloaked himself. He had been watching someone rob someone else and studying their vulnerabilities. He then walked towards the source of the voice "Yes?"

Nisorin · « **Reply #23 on:** January 18, 2010, 08:46:12 PM »

"You were supposed to be here two days ago. What took you so long?" He replies harshly, grabbing Arcane by the forearm and dragging him into the alley.

Zero · « **Reply #24 on:** January 19, 2010, 08:47:01 AM »

"Well I ran into a few delays." He said as he thought of the people who had blown up his car much to his dismay and their discomfort later that day. He then thought of the robbers who had been at the bank a paltry few hours ago and whom he had stopped in their tracks until the police could arrive. He then said "So what is it?"