« previous next »
Pages: 1 [2] 3   Go Down

Author Topic: Class  (Read 2872 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Nisorin

  • Retired Staff
  • Emperor
  • *****
  • Posts: 3,329
  • Gender: Male
  • Another loose cannon, gone bi-polar
    • View Profile
    • Drakenstar Productions
Re: Class
« Reply #25 on: January 19, 2010, 02:53:36 PM »
He sighs and shakes his head. "Because you were so late, I had to take care of it myself. I realize you sympathize with people easily, but you need to learn when to stop. This is the fourth time you've been critically late. Once more, and I may have to, relieve, you of your membership."
Logged
Seeing the world through a child's eyes is truly a unique experience. It helps you to retrieve that sense of awe, magic and wonder that you lost as you lost your innocence. Tell me, when was the last time that you thought of those childhood dreams? You know, the ones that you used to spend all your time wondering and fantasizing about? Have you forgotten them so easily? Have you forgotten what it felt like to see something for the first time, to see the magic in the mundane? Everyone says you should take the time to 'Stop and smell the roses'. But you should also take the time to look for the fairies, embrace the wind and enjoy the rain. Just once today, stop for a moment and look into that little piece of nature you pass everyday. Perhaps you may see something you did not notice before.

Offline Zero

  • Anomaly
  • *
  • Posts: 8,210
  • The Science King
    • View Profile
Re: Class
« Reply #26 on: January 19, 2010, 04:50:30 PM »
Arcane then thought of what he could say to the person who he was talking to. He then was deep in thought because he was confused about what to say to the person and then he thought up what to say. "Alright, I will no longer help them as much even though this city is plagued with problems. " 
Logged

Offline Nisorin

  • Retired Staff
  • Emperor
  • *****
  • Posts: 3,329
  • Gender: Male
  • Another loose cannon, gone bi-polar
    • View Profile
    • Drakenstar Productions
Re: Class
« Reply #27 on: January 19, 2010, 05:37:37 PM »
Ok, now go back and analyze every post, mine and yours, and tell me how it could have been done better.
Logged
Seeing the world through a child's eyes is truly a unique experience. It helps you to retrieve that sense of awe, magic and wonder that you lost as you lost your innocence. Tell me, when was the last time that you thought of those childhood dreams? You know, the ones that you used to spend all your time wondering and fantasizing about? Have you forgotten them so easily? Have you forgotten what it felt like to see something for the first time, to see the magic in the mundane? Everyone says you should take the time to 'Stop and smell the roses'. But you should also take the time to look for the fairies, embrace the wind and enjoy the rain. Just once today, stop for a moment and look into that little piece of nature you pass everyday. Perhaps you may see something you did not notice before.

Offline Zero

  • Anomaly
  • *
  • Posts: 8,210
  • The Science King
    • View Profile
Re: Class
« Reply #28 on: January 19, 2010, 05:44:26 PM »
Well as for my posts, I could have had him arrive earlier and also avoid using his power.
As for yours they could have been longer.
As for mine, they should have been longer.
Logged

Offline Nisorin

  • Retired Staff
  • Emperor
  • *****
  • Posts: 3,329
  • Gender: Male
  • Another loose cannon, gone bi-polar
    • View Profile
    • Drakenstar Productions
Re: Class
« Reply #29 on: January 19, 2010, 08:20:06 PM »
Wrong class Hawk. This is the Character Interaction class, not the Literacy class. Try again, this time focus on the actual content of the posts.
Logged
Seeing the world through a child's eyes is truly a unique experience. It helps you to retrieve that sense of awe, magic and wonder that you lost as you lost your innocence. Tell me, when was the last time that you thought of those childhood dreams? You know, the ones that you used to spend all your time wondering and fantasizing about? Have you forgotten them so easily? Have you forgotten what it felt like to see something for the first time, to see the magic in the mundane? Everyone says you should take the time to 'Stop and smell the roses'. But you should also take the time to look for the fairies, embrace the wind and enjoy the rain. Just once today, stop for a moment and look into that little piece of nature you pass everyday. Perhaps you may see something you did not notice before.

Offline Zero

  • Anomaly
  • *
  • Posts: 8,210
  • The Science King
    • View Profile
Re: Class
« Reply #30 on: January 19, 2010, 08:25:28 PM »
I could have interacted more with the character you chose to play by using Arcane in a more effective manor.
Logged

Offline Nisorin

  • Retired Staff
  • Emperor
  • *****
  • Posts: 3,329
  • Gender: Male
  • Another loose cannon, gone bi-polar
    • View Profile
    • Drakenstar Productions
Re: Class
« Reply #31 on: January 19, 2010, 08:53:07 PM »
Yes, you could have. Now, get more specific.
Logged
Seeing the world through a child's eyes is truly a unique experience. It helps you to retrieve that sense of awe, magic and wonder that you lost as you lost your innocence. Tell me, when was the last time that you thought of those childhood dreams? You know, the ones that you used to spend all your time wondering and fantasizing about? Have you forgotten them so easily? Have you forgotten what it felt like to see something for the first time, to see the magic in the mundane? Everyone says you should take the time to 'Stop and smell the roses'. But you should also take the time to look for the fairies, embrace the wind and enjoy the rain. Just once today, stop for a moment and look into that little piece of nature you pass everyday. Perhaps you may see something you did not notice before.

Offline Nisorin

  • Retired Staff
  • Emperor
  • *****
  • Posts: 3,329
  • Gender: Male
  • Another loose cannon, gone bi-polar
    • View Profile
    • Drakenstar Productions
Re: Class
« Reply #32 on: January 24, 2010, 05:25:02 PM »
You'll never pass this class if you don't post, Hawkeye.
Logged
Seeing the world through a child's eyes is truly a unique experience. It helps you to retrieve that sense of awe, magic and wonder that you lost as you lost your innocence. Tell me, when was the last time that you thought of those childhood dreams? You know, the ones that you used to spend all your time wondering and fantasizing about? Have you forgotten them so easily? Have you forgotten what it felt like to see something for the first time, to see the magic in the mundane? Everyone says you should take the time to 'Stop and smell the roses'. But you should also take the time to look for the fairies, embrace the wind and enjoy the rain. Just once today, stop for a moment and look into that little piece of nature you pass everyday. Perhaps you may see something you did not notice before.

Offline Zero

  • Anomaly
  • *
  • Posts: 8,210
  • The Science King
    • View Profile
Re: Class
« Reply #33 on: January 25, 2010, 10:46:56 PM »
Sigh.

I could have improved by making the post take in the details of yours thus continuing the plot of the RP we were doing in a far better way.
Logged

Offline Nisorin

  • Retired Staff
  • Emperor
  • *****
  • Posts: 3,329
  • Gender: Male
  • Another loose cannon, gone bi-polar
    • View Profile
    • Drakenstar Productions
Re: Class
« Reply #34 on: January 25, 2010, 10:50:34 PM »
Why are you sighing? I'm trying to help you improve in an area you are lacking skill in.

So, how could you have taken the details I gave you, and used them to enhance the interaction between the characters?
Logged
Seeing the world through a child's eyes is truly a unique experience. It helps you to retrieve that sense of awe, magic and wonder that you lost as you lost your innocence. Tell me, when was the last time that you thought of those childhood dreams? You know, the ones that you used to spend all your time wondering and fantasizing about? Have you forgotten them so easily? Have you forgotten what it felt like to see something for the first time, to see the magic in the mundane? Everyone says you should take the time to 'Stop and smell the roses'. But you should also take the time to look for the fairies, embrace the wind and enjoy the rain. Just once today, stop for a moment and look into that little piece of nature you pass everyday. Perhaps you may see something you did not notice before.

Offline Zero

  • Anomaly
  • *
  • Posts: 8,210
  • The Science King
    • View Profile
Re: Class
« Reply #35 on: January 26, 2010, 12:03:47 AM »
1. I was sighing since like yesterday I am still sick as I was which means unfortunately no school for me.
2. I could have taken the details in to account and had Arcane not arrive late.
Logged

Offline Nisorin

  • Retired Staff
  • Emperor
  • *****
  • Posts: 3,329
  • Gender: Male
  • Another loose cannon, gone bi-polar
    • View Profile
    • Drakenstar Productions
Re: Class
« Reply #36 on: January 26, 2010, 12:15:16 AM »
Since the sequence started off with Arcane already being late, that could not have been helped. But, perhaps I should rephrase my question.

What details could you have used to further show Arcane's personality, and how could you use those details to attain that goal?
Logged
Seeing the world through a child's eyes is truly a unique experience. It helps you to retrieve that sense of awe, magic and wonder that you lost as you lost your innocence. Tell me, when was the last time that you thought of those childhood dreams? You know, the ones that you used to spend all your time wondering and fantasizing about? Have you forgotten them so easily? Have you forgotten what it felt like to see something for the first time, to see the magic in the mundane? Everyone says you should take the time to 'Stop and smell the roses'. But you should also take the time to look for the fairies, embrace the wind and enjoy the rain. Just once today, stop for a moment and look into that little piece of nature you pass everyday. Perhaps you may see something you did not notice before.

Offline Zero

  • Anomaly
  • *
  • Posts: 8,210
  • The Science King
    • View Profile
Re: Class
« Reply #37 on: January 26, 2010, 06:11:50 PM »
I could have added in emotions to the post to show his emotional state and used it to further the post, by making him more real.
Logged

Offline Nisorin

  • Retired Staff
  • Emperor
  • *****
  • Posts: 3,329
  • Gender: Male
  • Another loose cannon, gone bi-polar
    • View Profile
    • Drakenstar Productions
Re: Class
« Reply #38 on: January 28, 2010, 08:12:12 PM »
Now, pick any one of your posts from the previous passage, and do just that.
Logged
Seeing the world through a child's eyes is truly a unique experience. It helps you to retrieve that sense of awe, magic and wonder that you lost as you lost your innocence. Tell me, when was the last time that you thought of those childhood dreams? You know, the ones that you used to spend all your time wondering and fantasizing about? Have you forgotten them so easily? Have you forgotten what it felt like to see something for the first time, to see the magic in the mundane? Everyone says you should take the time to 'Stop and smell the roses'. But you should also take the time to look for the fairies, embrace the wind and enjoy the rain. Just once today, stop for a moment and look into that little piece of nature you pass everyday. Perhaps you may see something you did not notice before.

Offline Zero

  • Anomaly
  • *
  • Posts: 8,210
  • The Science King
    • View Profile
Re: Class
« Reply #39 on: January 31, 2010, 10:45:44 AM »
Arcane was saddened when he heard the guy say he was late. He knew it wouldn't turn out well for him if he was ever late again. Irritation was what he felt at the city for allowing such people to run the streets though. He had taken down 30 criminals the previous night and before that 100 murderers who had busted out of jail. His annoyance at being forced to be up all night chasing them was very strong. He then uncloaked himself in front of the man. He looked almost as if he could fall over asleep at any moment in time.
Logged

Offline Nisorin

  • Retired Staff
  • Emperor
  • *****
  • Posts: 3,329
  • Gender: Male
  • Another loose cannon, gone bi-polar
    • View Profile
    • Drakenstar Productions
Re: Class
« Reply #40 on: January 31, 2010, 08:24:20 PM »
Better characterization, but there's no actual interaction, which is what we're trying to work on.
Logged
Seeing the world through a child's eyes is truly a unique experience. It helps you to retrieve that sense of awe, magic and wonder that you lost as you lost your innocence. Tell me, when was the last time that you thought of those childhood dreams? You know, the ones that you used to spend all your time wondering and fantasizing about? Have you forgotten them so easily? Have you forgotten what it felt like to see something for the first time, to see the magic in the mundane? Everyone says you should take the time to 'Stop and smell the roses'. But you should also take the time to look for the fairies, embrace the wind and enjoy the rain. Just once today, stop for a moment and look into that little piece of nature you pass everyday. Perhaps you may see something you did not notice before.

Offline Zero

  • Anomaly
  • *
  • Posts: 8,210
  • The Science King
    • View Profile
Re: Class
« Reply #41 on: February 01, 2010, 04:35:48 PM »
Arcane was saddened when he heard the guy say he was late. He knew it wouldn't turn out well for him if he was ever late again. Irritation was what he felt at the city for allowing such people to run the streets though. He had taken down 30 criminals the previous night and before that 100 murderers who had busted out of jail. His annoyance at being forced to be up all night chasing them was very strong. He then uncloaked himself in front of the man. He looked almost as if he could fall over asleep at any moment in time. He then said to the man who said he was late a few seconds ago letting the magical cloak around himself fade "I am sorry I wasn't here on time and it won't happen again." His face looked repentant. His eyes looked timid and filled with pain for being late.
Logged

Offline Nisorin

  • Retired Staff
  • Emperor
  • *****
  • Posts: 3,329
  • Gender: Male
  • Another loose cannon, gone bi-polar
    • View Profile
    • Drakenstar Productions
Re: Class
« Reply #42 on: February 01, 2010, 05:37:10 PM »
Better, he has some sort of personality affecting his interaction now. But, do you know anyone that reacts that extremely just to being late? I mean, you've practically got him crying about it.
Logged
Seeing the world through a child's eyes is truly a unique experience. It helps you to retrieve that sense of awe, magic and wonder that you lost as you lost your innocence. Tell me, when was the last time that you thought of those childhood dreams? You know, the ones that you used to spend all your time wondering and fantasizing about? Have you forgotten them so easily? Have you forgotten what it felt like to see something for the first time, to see the magic in the mundane? Everyone says you should take the time to 'Stop and smell the roses'. But you should also take the time to look for the fairies, embrace the wind and enjoy the rain. Just once today, stop for a moment and look into that little piece of nature you pass everyday. Perhaps you may see something you did not notice before.

Offline Zero

  • Anomaly
  • *
  • Posts: 8,210
  • The Science King
    • View Profile
Re: Class
« Reply #43 on: February 03, 2010, 08:27:10 PM »
No. I was just feeling dramatic at the time.
Logged

Offline Nisorin

  • Retired Staff
  • Emperor
  • *****
  • Posts: 3,329
  • Gender: Male
  • Another loose cannon, gone bi-polar
    • View Profile
    • Drakenstar Productions
Re: Class
« Reply #44 on: February 04, 2010, 12:02:44 AM »
Don't get me wrong Hawkeye, dramatic can be good, but you've taken it to where he's about to cry just for being late. I hope I don't have to tell you how that's not good.
Logged
Seeing the world through a child's eyes is truly a unique experience. It helps you to retrieve that sense of awe, magic and wonder that you lost as you lost your innocence. Tell me, when was the last time that you thought of those childhood dreams? You know, the ones that you used to spend all your time wondering and fantasizing about? Have you forgotten them so easily? Have you forgotten what it felt like to see something for the first time, to see the magic in the mundane? Everyone says you should take the time to 'Stop and smell the roses'. But you should also take the time to look for the fairies, embrace the wind and enjoy the rain. Just once today, stop for a moment and look into that little piece of nature you pass everyday. Perhaps you may see something you did not notice before.

Offline Zero

  • Anomaly
  • *
  • Posts: 8,210
  • The Science King
    • View Profile
Re: Class
« Reply #45 on: February 04, 2010, 09:02:18 AM »
You don't.
Logged

Offline Nisorin

  • Retired Staff
  • Emperor
  • *****
  • Posts: 3,329
  • Gender: Male
  • Another loose cannon, gone bi-polar
    • View Profile
    • Drakenstar Productions
Re: Class
« Reply #46 on: February 04, 2010, 03:31:34 PM »
Ok. Try doing it dramatically, but reasonably so.
Logged
Seeing the world through a child's eyes is truly a unique experience. It helps you to retrieve that sense of awe, magic and wonder that you lost as you lost your innocence. Tell me, when was the last time that you thought of those childhood dreams? You know, the ones that you used to spend all your time wondering and fantasizing about? Have you forgotten them so easily? Have you forgotten what it felt like to see something for the first time, to see the magic in the mundane? Everyone says you should take the time to 'Stop and smell the roses'. But you should also take the time to look for the fairies, embrace the wind and enjoy the rain. Just once today, stop for a moment and look into that little piece of nature you pass everyday. Perhaps you may see something you did not notice before.

Offline Nisorin

  • Retired Staff
  • Emperor
  • *****
  • Posts: 3,329
  • Gender: Male
  • Another loose cannon, gone bi-polar
    • View Profile
    • Drakenstar Productions
Re: Class
« Reply #47 on: February 06, 2010, 05:05:39 PM »
Hawkeye.
Logged
Seeing the world through a child's eyes is truly a unique experience. It helps you to retrieve that sense of awe, magic and wonder that you lost as you lost your innocence. Tell me, when was the last time that you thought of those childhood dreams? You know, the ones that you used to spend all your time wondering and fantasizing about? Have you forgotten them so easily? Have you forgotten what it felt like to see something for the first time, to see the magic in the mundane? Everyone says you should take the time to 'Stop and smell the roses'. But you should also take the time to look for the fairies, embrace the wind and enjoy the rain. Just once today, stop for a moment and look into that little piece of nature you pass everyday. Perhaps you may see something you did not notice before.

Offline Zero

  • Anomaly
  • *
  • Posts: 8,210
  • The Science King
    • View Profile
Re: Class
« Reply #48 on: February 06, 2010, 06:54:11 PM »
Arcane heard what the man had said. He was not very saddened but yet he was sad about it. He had up to that point always been punctual. Now the record he had worked so hard to lay the foundation for and make rocket skyward had been erased. Never again could he claim to not be tardy at all. 

Arcane slowly walked towards the man still cloaked by his magic. He didn't as of yet wish to reveal his new attire to the man. He needed to find a place to alter his clothing. He decided since he could not at the moment be viewed. Concentrating and focusing on his abilities he then used his techniques.
Logged

Offline Nisorin

  • Retired Staff
  • Emperor
  • *****
  • Posts: 3,329
  • Gender: Male
  • Another loose cannon, gone bi-polar
    • View Profile
    • Drakenstar Productions
Re: Class
« Reply #49 on: February 07, 2010, 02:21:01 PM »
this is the interaction class Hawkeye, you need to have character interaction in your posts here.
Logged
Seeing the world through a child's eyes is truly a unique experience. It helps you to retrieve that sense of awe, magic and wonder that you lost as you lost your innocence. Tell me, when was the last time that you thought of those childhood dreams? You know, the ones that you used to spend all your time wondering and fantasizing about? Have you forgotten them so easily? Have you forgotten what it felt like to see something for the first time, to see the magic in the mundane? Everyone says you should take the time to 'Stop and smell the roses'. But you should also take the time to look for the fairies, embrace the wind and enjoy the rain. Just once today, stop for a moment and look into that little piece of nature you pass everyday. Perhaps you may see something you did not notice before.
Pages: 1 [2] 3   Go Up
« previous next »