Author Topic: Letters Of The Dictators (Read 11484 times)

K2 · « **on:** July 07, 2010, 05:45:21 PM »

Dearest Sister,
I am so sorry about your hair! I just heard the other day that the shampoo I bought you for your birthday actually contained orange dye. I had no idea! It must have ruined your pink-hair-style. It was, by no means, a way to ruin your life or anything, because I'm not that cruel.

Will visit you later, but the Aralangs say visiting hours are off the wall this week.

Your nemesis,
K2323.

P.S.: Don't worry! Your spellbook collection is in good hands!

Orph · « **Reply #1 on:** July 07, 2010, 06:07:11 PM »

Dearest Hikaru,

I want to break up, I just can't handle a long distance relationship.

Your God,
Koty.

K2 · « **Reply #2 on:** July 07, 2010, 06:11:21 PM »

Dear Gaserlake,
How is the book I lent you going? It took me two hundred years to write, but I must say... 101 Ways To Torture Hikaru is the best book I ever wrote.

Your friend,
K2323.

P.S.: Thanks for the embarrassing pictures you sent of Hikaru! I hung them up on my refrigerator so every time I go to get Relorian Pudding for a snack, I see them.

Gaserlake · « **Reply #3 on:** July 07, 2010, 06:16:39 PM »

Dear K2323,
Thanks for the book. It was very interesting. I've used all 101 ways on her. Her reactions were surprising. It was fun. I've sent you some pictures of the tortures. You can also put these on your refrigerator.

Your pal,
Gaserlake

Orph · « **Reply #4 on:** July 07, 2010, 06:17:38 PM »

Dearest Zere,

You're a faggot.

Your superior,
Abel.

@Pokemon Master Red · « **Reply #5 on:** July 07, 2010, 06:40:30 PM »

Dear Aralang Empire,

We hope you die. In a fire. With people pointing and laughing.

Your rivals,
The Mechera

Embodiment of Cringe · « **Reply #6 on:** July 07, 2010, 06:58:27 PM »

Dearest Novierian Race,

so i herd u liek mind powerz.

Yours truly,
Assassin, the guy that just attempted to kill your planet.

Admiral Regis Hermitage · « **Reply #7 on:** July 07, 2010, 06:59:12 PM »

Dear Gaserlake

How come we werent on the E-Mail list...God Damnit!!!!

Your Lord and Master,
Mark Tepper
Grunder Industries- CEO

Embodiment of Cringe · « **Reply #8 on:** July 17, 2010, 01:49:37 PM »

You fucking bastard Faote,

Stop intruding on my realm! And stop copying me while you're at it!

Your eventual killer,
God

UnStellar · « **Reply #9 on:** July 17, 2010, 02:42:59 PM »

Dear diary,

Today I ate some oatmeal for my breakfast. It was flavorless and watery. I thought of my mother. I cried.

-Nosferatu

Admiral Regis Hermitage · « **Reply #10 on:** July 17, 2010, 04:45:45 PM »

Dear Mr Nova,
I have repeatedly tried to reach you but your secritary keeps seduecing me..I would like to request you get a hotter one

Your Eventual Boss,
Mark Tepper
Grunder Industries Limited- Chief Executive Officer/ Chairman of the Board

UnStellar · « **Reply #11 on:** July 17, 2010, 04:50:20 PM »

Mr. Tepper,

Wait till you see my head scientist.

Sincerely,

William Nova
CEO, Nova Corporation

Admiral Regis Hermitage · « **Reply #12 on:** July 17, 2010, 04:53:54 PM »

Re: Mr. Nova

Been there...done her. Ha. We should have a drink some time... there is a great bar in sudentor near the HQ. Oh and how is the Fleet of Particular Justice treating your planet? They have a rather nasty habit of using our new product...

The Rishest Man Alive,
Mark Tepper
Grunder Industries Limited- Chief Executive Officer/ Chairman of the Board

Embodiment of Cringe · « **Reply #13 on:** July 18, 2010, 04:53:22 PM »

Shu 001,

You clueless mindless retard! You gave me the wrong lodging number! I ended up walking in on a couple's honeymoon! How dare you!

A disappointed visitor of False Heaven.

___

Disappointed visitor,

I apologize for what you have experienced, but you entered lodging 0x32|1572. The correct lodging number I assigned you was 0x32|1672. Please keep this in mind and review your lodging key card. However did you even enter anyway?

Sincerely,
Shu 001

___

Shu 001,

I had a nearby android open it for me. I finally have reached my own room, but there's trash and dust everywhere! How is one supposed to live in this?!

Disappointed Visitor.

___

Disappointed visitor,

I apologize, but it seems the last person that resided there made a mess and our androids haven't quite gotten to it yet. Please do remember there are only 999 of us serving on a space station as big as Jupiter. Please press the service call and a android will be with you shortly.

Sincerely,
Shu 001.

___

Shu 001,

Fuck you.

Disappointed Visitor.

___

SYSTEM REGISTRY
LOGIN: SHU 001
PASS: *****************************

LODGING DATABASE
/striprights 0x32|1672
/kick 0x32|1672

MESSAGE:
Mr. Fawnd,

We regret to inform you that you have lost your rights to your lodging and are hereby no longer welcome at False Heaven. Please leave peacefully or prepare to be ejected by an android.

Regards,
System administrator
Faotemaru Veintarlach Derahnad.

PS. Don't insult my androids.

----------
SUBMIT (Y|N) Y

Admiral Regis Hermitage · « **Reply #14 on:** July 18, 2010, 05:01:06 PM »

Dear Hikaru

Sorry to hear that your in jail...Oh and i was the one who put the orange dye in the shampoo K2 gave you... Sorry

Mark Tepper

Embodiment of Cringe · « **Reply #15 on:** July 18, 2010, 05:11:19 PM »

Black and White judges,

Thanks for letting me off the hook so easily. Want to go get some drinks sometime? I have a really nice restaurant here in False Heaven that serves both tea and coffee.

Sincerely,
Faotemaru Veintarlach Derahnad

Admiral Regis Hermitage · « **Reply #16 on:** July 18, 2010, 05:26:45 PM »

Dear Veldorians,
We cannot wait to "Test" Our new weapon on your people...

Regards,
Mark Tepper
Grunder Industries Limited- CEO

Embodiment of Cringe · « **Reply #17 on:** July 18, 2010, 05:33:17 PM »

Entire universe,

We invite you to participate in our Fling stuff out of the atmosphere holiday! Bring your families, friends, and probably your dog as we fling as many things out of our atmosphere as possible! We guarantee it's good fun!

Regards,
The Novierians.

PS
Don't come on any other day of the year or we will kill you.

Admiral Regis Hermitage · « **Reply #18 on:** July 18, 2010, 05:36:59 PM »

Dear SP Staff
Soon i will break the 4th wall and i WILL FIND YOU!!!!!!!

With Regards,
Mark Tepper

Queen Bright · « **Reply #19 on:** July 19, 2010, 02:54:52 PM »

Dear Infidels, er- I mean Aralangs,

I WIN!

-Your Enemy Sage,
Hikaru Tyris

PS
I want my stuff back.

Admiral Regis Hermitage · « **Reply #20 on:** July 19, 2010, 02:57:23 PM »

Dear SP Staff,
We are Close...And we have Lyoko222 hostage. Your Next!!!!!!!!!!
Current Progress- 96%
Elasped Time- 13 days, 17 Hours, 38 Minutes, 24.93 Seconds

-Mark Tepper

Queen Bright · « **Reply #21 on:** July 19, 2010, 03:05:53 PM »

Dear Mark Tepper,

When you learn how to tell the difference between 'your' and 'you're.' Then your threat may hold some actual meaning.

Good Day,
SP Staff, Moderation Leader
-Hikaru

PS
Go ahead and kill Lyoko222.

Admiral Regis Hermitage · « **Reply #22 on:** July 19, 2010, 03:17:17 PM »

Dear Ms Richards,
He is dead...

M.Tepper
PS- Lyoko222 says "Go to Hell"

Ameko-chan · « **Reply #23 on:** July 19, 2010, 03:24:09 PM »

Dear Koji's father,
You're a fag, it is a good thing you are dead.

Have a nice day in Hell.

Go screw a squirrell,
Your sons evil side that he is yet to discover.

Admiral Regis Hermitage · « **Reply #24 on:** July 19, 2010, 03:36:11 PM »

Dear Veldorians,

After studying your tech we have concluded that ours is better...Oh and we're still going to "Test" Our new toy on you.

Regards,
Grunder Industries Ltd. PR Division

Author Topic: Letters Of The Dictators (Read 11484 times)

UnStellar

UnStellar