« previous next »
Pages: [1] 2   Go Down

Author Topic: The government is out to get me.  (Read 3003 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Embodiment of Cringe

  • Prison Convict
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,433
    • View Profile
The government is out to get me.
« on: February 15, 2012, 08:34:54 PM »

I'm sent to pick up pizza. Okay. I drive a little over 2.3 miles to Papa Johns to pick up said pizzas. It was upon this moment that when I reached into my back pocket to pull out the money to pay for said pizzas...
My wallet was missing, therefore, my license was gone. Luckily, I still had the money on me to pay for said pizzas, so I succeeded at that at least. I think "Hey, I'll just go back the way I came from. There were no police cars at all that way." So intent on following my plan, I decide to get in my car and, well, drive. Thing is...

Just before I pull out of the Papa John's parking lot, I see a cop car go across the road in front of me. The very first thought that comes to me is this: '... Is this some sort of omen?' And then, as if all of the universe said all at once in unison, "yes," I faced the most rather displeasing and rather uncanny ~20 minutes of my life.
On the road that Papa Johns was connected to, driving to an intersection I need to get home, a Police car passes on the opposite lane.
At the intersection, a Police car turns into the road I'm coming from. Another one follows it. They came from the way I was going. Deciding not to go back on my original plan, I go forward, thinking that the few police cars that probably were on the road I was going to was gone.
On the road that the two cop cars come from, another passes by.
On the next intersection, one where I normally turn into to get home, another cop car turns out of it. I then decide to forget the original plan and go another route where I can clearly see any police cars in the dead of night.
Another police car passes me on my new route.
Upon turning into my street, a police car pulls out of my street.
Before I pull into my home, I see another police car pass by. And then, I notice a car behind me. Deciding not to take any chances, I carefully signal, slow down, and turn into my driveway flawlessly.
It was a police car, and it silently drove on.


Ten Police cars, all going in the direction I came from, all coming from the direction I go home to.
« Last Edit: February 15, 2012, 09:11:07 PM by Gunslingah »
Logged
TEH WINNAR LOOSER OF TEH SHATTED PLAINS

Offline Ghost

  • Prison Convict
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,483
  • Gender: Female
  • Outlier of the forum.
    • View Profile
Re: The government is out to get me.
« Reply #1 on: February 15, 2012, 10:23:57 PM »
That's the funniest/scariest/weirdest thing I heard so far this year. :/
Logged

Offline UnStellar

  • Prison Convict
  • *****
  • Posts: 886
  • Gender: Male
  • Stone Cold Capitalist
    • View Profile
Re: The government is out to get me.
« Reply #2 on: February 15, 2012, 11:38:19 PM »
ZAI RUN
Logged
Rule 26:A little sun screen never hurt anybody.



My Cast of Characters.
My Planets: Autumnavia, Pleasure Planet, Xap (Out of Play)
My Races: Bellicus, Imbellis, Mazheek, Witch, Siren, Revoker (Sorcerer), Enforcer (Keeper), Succubus, Nosfairians, Renforcers, Averi, Owl Sages, Artisan Sages

Offline K2

  • Leader
  • Anomaly
  • *****
  • Posts: 10,196
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: The government is out to get me.
« Reply #3 on: February 16, 2012, 09:47:14 AM »
He's onto us.
Logged

Offline Capxeno

  • Prison Convict
  • *****
  • Posts: 827
  • Gender: Male
  • Cursed Thief
    • View Profile
Re: The government is out to get me.
« Reply #4 on: February 17, 2012, 03:38:00 PM »
Zai... do you support the party? Do you love big brother?

*tosses in pit of rats*
Logged


Characters: Sliph, Salahiem, Caliph, Kurai, Kuro, Treena, Seither, ~Eli
Races: Wyvern, Marid, Afreet, Ghoul
Territories: Marid Homeworld, Marid Colony A,  Marid Settlement (Located on Autumnavia), Bula Bula, New Sodom, Cruor(Assimilated Japae), Treena: Earth (Kinda), Aloange, Talar Sphere.

Offline King Jeebus

  • The Endearing Bastard
  • Retired Staff
  • Prison Convict
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,510
  • Gender: Male
  • The Overlord of Badass
    • View Profile
Re: The government is out to get me.
« Reply #5 on: February 17, 2012, 04:11:25 PM »
Hey Zai like if they kill you can I have your stuff?
Logged

Offline Admiral Regis Hermitage

  • Leader
  • Puppet Master
  • *****
  • Posts: 4,763
  • Gender: Male
  • Brony Captain
    • View Profile
Re: The government is out to get me.
« Reply #6 on: February 17, 2012, 04:25:16 PM »
Quote from: Overlord Jeebus on February 17, 2012, 04:11:25 PM
Hey Zai like if they kill you can I have your stuff?

*pushes Jeebus out of the way* Dibs!
Logged
My Characters
Mark Tepper- lvl 5- CEO of Grunder Ind. -
AI Delta- DAIS Director/Anrufe Member
Supr. Cmndr. Thel Valdamee- Supreme Commander of the Mechera Military/Interim INTERPOL Chairman
Her Grace, the Countess of Gracemaria, Fleet Adm. Aki Sora- Commander of the 3rd Zarethian Fleet
Mark Halsey/Tepper II- High Librarian for the Great Records of Time
Lord Capt. Nathan Church- Vampire, Galactic Inc. Executive VP of Security.
Countess, Tera Mikami- Ruler of New Dementia
Admiral, Regis F Hermitage- Dir. Of the Zarethian Hand
Vice Admiral, Lucien Z. Rychart- Pirate Lord [Zealot]/Demented Prince
Antonio Stradivari, Demonic General of the Army of Hell
AMI, city of Sulvian's AI
Insana, the embodiment of Insanity.

My NPCs-
Lt. General Reginald M. Richards- Zarethian TRADOC Commanding General
Father Resulka- Demented Priest
Mother Kilauea Pele- Manic Priestess
Regent, Octavius- Regent of the City of Insania
CDR Tarkov, Zarethian HIRU Agent
High Seraphim, Grunder Tepper- General of the Armies of Heaven
AI, Marathon- DAIS, MI3 Assistant Director
The Giant Golden Dildo on the Sex Planet aka the Embodiment of Sex (Spoof)



"Living in the past is a luxury none of us can afford. We must learn from it, but we cannot live there. It is impossible to plan for the [now]--the present is ever fleeting. [The future] is where we must live--[the future] is what we must plan for. "   -Unknown

"What do you call a cross between a mule, a hornet and a badger? A hikaru." - Hawkeye

Offline Orga the Strange

  • Prison Convict
  • *****
  • Posts: 968
  • Gender: Male
  • Turn it off...turn it off...turn it off...
    • View Profile
Re: The government is out to get me.
« Reply #7 on: February 17, 2012, 04:33:46 PM »
What? Dude I live way closer to Zai than you, I should get his stuff. :p
Logged
Kobe Bryant is a product of the myth


Freedom to Love. To Hate
To Laugh. To Rage
To Stay. To Change
To Save. To Kill

Offline Ragnar the Red

  • Prison Convict
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,890
  • Gender: Male
  • There's always a bigger fish. Usually it's K.
    • View Profile
Re: The government is out to get me.
« Reply #8 on: February 17, 2012, 10:23:02 PM »
I live close ish. Can I have some stuff?
Logged
Characters: Reykjavik (Reyky) Keflavik   Naralia Arnigtaliila   Tessitura Reprise   Salgren Keflavik   Alexander Damian Johnson   Laniq   Calto Rubian   William Benesque   Cadinae Rybic   K   Zaigen Yevitt

  (__)                           ______________/////////////////\
^0  0^------- .__        /_"' // ___________///////////////////
  /|  |   /___\  \    *      '^/    \\\       \\\\\\\\\\\\/
 /OO \ \       / /           <>)

Offline Ghost

  • Prison Convict
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,483
  • Gender: Female
  • Outlier of the forum.
    • View Profile
Re: The government is out to get me.
« Reply #9 on: February 17, 2012, 11:07:23 PM »
Of course you guys of all people don't try to protect him :P
Logged

Offline UnStellar

  • Prison Convict
  • *****
  • Posts: 886
  • Gender: Male
  • Stone Cold Capitalist
    • View Profile
Re: The government is out to get me.
« Reply #10 on: February 18, 2012, 12:52:06 AM »
Hell no. If we help him the government will go after us too. Why should we be drug down with him?
Logged
Rule 26:A little sun screen never hurt anybody.



My Cast of Characters.
My Planets: Autumnavia, Pleasure Planet, Xap (Out of Play)
My Races: Bellicus, Imbellis, Mazheek, Witch, Siren, Revoker (Sorcerer), Enforcer (Keeper), Succubus, Nosfairians, Renforcers, Averi, Owl Sages, Artisan Sages

Offline Ragnar the Red

  • Prison Convict
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,890
  • Gender: Male
  • There's always a bigger fish. Usually it's K.
    • View Profile
Re: The government is out to get me.
« Reply #11 on: February 18, 2012, 12:38:50 PM »
Yeah, we'll help him get

Behind Bars! rahahahahaha!
Logged
Characters: Reykjavik (Reyky) Keflavik   Naralia Arnigtaliila   Tessitura Reprise   Salgren Keflavik   Alexander Damian Johnson   Laniq   Calto Rubian   William Benesque   Cadinae Rybic   K   Zaigen Yevitt

  (__)                           ______________/////////////////\
^0  0^------- .__        /_"' // ___________///////////////////
  /|  |   /___\  \    *      '^/    \\\       \\\\\\\\\\\\/
 /OO \ \       / /           <>)

Offline Embodiment of Cringe

  • Prison Convict
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,433
    • View Profile
Re: The government is out to get me.
« Reply #12 on: February 18, 2012, 02:04:16 PM »
Quote
He's onto us.

D:

Quote
Zai... do you support the party? Do you love big brother?

*tosses in pit of rats*

No! Never! The government will never own me!

Quote
Hey Zai like if they kill you can I have your stuff?

Uh, sure?

Quote
Quote
Hey Zai like if they kill you can I have your stuff?
*pushes Jeebus out of the way* Dibs!
Quote
I live close ish. Can I have some stuff?

...

Quote
Of course you guys of all people don't try to protect him :P
Quote
Hell no. If we help him the government will go after us too. Why should we be drug down with him?
Quote
Yeah, we'll help him get

Behind Bars! rahahahahaha!

D':
Logged
TEH WINNAR LOOSER OF TEH SHATTED PLAINS

Offline Embodiment of Cringe

  • Prison Convict
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,433
    • View Profile
Re: The government is out to get me.
« Reply #13 on: February 18, 2012, 02:08:31 PM »
This is your faithful friend Zai. I wanted to let you all know that I am fine, and the government is not out to get me. Rather, I think we all should embrace our government as well as believe in it. Be sure to vote for your favorite candidate in the upcoming elections!
Logged
TEH WINNAR LOOSER OF TEH SHATTED PLAINS

Offline Ghost

  • Prison Convict
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,483
  • Gender: Female
  • Outlier of the forum.
    • View Profile
Re: The government is out to get me.
« Reply #14 on: February 18, 2012, 02:19:30 PM »
bolded letters: Helme lol I think he meant "Help me"
Logged

Offline Ragnar the Red

  • Prison Convict
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,890
  • Gender: Male
  • There's always a bigger fish. Usually it's K.
    • View Profile
Re: The government is out to get me.
« Reply #15 on: February 18, 2012, 04:25:46 PM »
If he had used correct grammar the CIA would have caught on
Logged
Characters: Reykjavik (Reyky) Keflavik   Naralia Arnigtaliila   Tessitura Reprise   Salgren Keflavik   Alexander Damian Johnson   Laniq   Calto Rubian   William Benesque   Cadinae Rybic   K   Zaigen Yevitt

  (__)                           ______________/////////////////\
^0  0^------- .__        /_"' // ___________///////////////////
  /|  |   /___\  \    *      '^/    \\\       \\\\\\\\\\\\/
 /OO \ \       / /           <>)

Offline Ghost

  • Prison Convict
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,483
  • Gender: Female
  • Outlier of the forum.
    • View Profile
Re: The government is out to get me.
« Reply #16 on: February 18, 2012, 04:30:34 PM »
Meh.
Logged

Offline K2

  • Leader
  • Anomaly
  • *****
  • Posts: 10,196
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: The government is out to get me.
« Reply #17 on: February 19, 2012, 12:46:26 PM »
Quote from: Avalanche on February 18, 2012, 02:19:30 PM
bolded letters: Helme lol I think he meant "Help me"

Shhh <.<
Logged

Offline Ghost

  • Prison Convict
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,483
  • Gender: Female
  • Outlier of the forum.
    • View Profile
Re: The government is out to get me.
« Reply #18 on: February 19, 2012, 01:01:55 PM »
I dunno whay you people are shushing at me for. Wanna help zai make an apple pie :X
Logged

Offline Ragnar the Red

  • Prison Convict
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,890
  • Gender: Male
  • There's always a bigger fish. Usually it's K.
    • View Profile
Re: The government is out to get me.
« Reply #19 on: February 19, 2012, 01:02:59 PM »
I'll bring the cyanide cinnamon!
Logged
Characters: Reykjavik (Reyky) Keflavik   Naralia Arnigtaliila   Tessitura Reprise   Salgren Keflavik   Alexander Damian Johnson   Laniq   Calto Rubian   William Benesque   Cadinae Rybic   K   Zaigen Yevitt

  (__)                           ______________/////////////////\
^0  0^------- .__        /_"' // ___________///////////////////
  /|  |   /___\  \    *      '^/    \\\       \\\\\\\\\\\\/
 /OO \ \       / /           <>)

Offline Ghost

  • Prison Convict
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,483
  • Gender: Female
  • Outlier of the forum.
    • View Profile
Re: The government is out to get me.
« Reply #20 on: February 19, 2012, 11:34:41 PM »
I has apples~
Logged

Offline Orga the Strange

  • Prison Convict
  • *****
  • Posts: 968
  • Gender: Male
  • Turn it off...turn it off...turn it off...
    • View Profile
Re: The government is out to get me.
« Reply #21 on: February 20, 2012, 04:02:20 PM »
....so do I still get your PSP?
Logged
Kobe Bryant is a product of the myth


Freedom to Love. To Hate
To Laugh. To Rage
To Stay. To Change
To Save. To Kill

Offline Ghost

  • Prison Convict
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,483
  • Gender: Female
  • Outlier of the forum.
    • View Profile
Re: The government is out to get me.
« Reply #22 on: February 20, 2012, 04:30:59 PM »
Quote from: CL4P-TP on February 20, 2012, 04:02:20 PM
....so do I still get your PSP?
You get Cupcakes
Logged

Offline K2

  • Leader
  • Anomaly
  • *****
  • Posts: 10,196
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: The government is out to get me.
« Reply #23 on: February 20, 2012, 04:32:04 PM »
!move Canned Spam
Logged

Offline UnStellar

  • Prison Convict
  • *****
  • Posts: 886
  • Gender: Male
  • Stone Cold Capitalist
    • View Profile
Re: The government is out to get me.
« Reply #24 on: February 20, 2012, 04:44:54 PM »
CUPCAKES ARE LIES DISGUISED IN CUPS

MY WORDS ARE LIES DISGUISED IN CAPS
Logged
Rule 26:A little sun screen never hurt anybody.



My Cast of Characters.
My Planets: Autumnavia, Pleasure Planet, Xap (Out of Play)
My Races: Bellicus, Imbellis, Mazheek, Witch, Siren, Revoker (Sorcerer), Enforcer (Keeper), Succubus, Nosfairians, Renforcers, Averi, Owl Sages, Artisan Sages
Pages: [1] 2   Go Up
« previous next »